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Defeated = Mom, wife

May 8, 2007

I’ve actually had some time today to catch up on some blog reading and getting a kick out of what other mothers have had to say about this Weight Challange.  Most of it was pretty dang funny.

On the other hand I feel like I need to ‘fess up on one of my true reasons for doing this.  I’ve heard all my life that endorphins help you feel happier.  I’m pretty much a happy person…a little weird at times, but for the most part happy.

However, the past few months have been very hard on me.  I feel like things are falling apart faster than I can keep them together.  I can’t seem to stay home long enough to keep the house in a presentable manner, our church is growing so fast that I feel like I’m constantly chasing my tail as far as logistics go (keeping supplies stocked, staying on top of all the kids that are joining our Elementary area, expressing how much I appreciate our teachers, being the oh so helpful and care-free pastor’s wife, etc.), my oldest is having anger issues at school, etc.  The list just goes on and on.

I feel like a failure as a mom and wife. 

About 4 years ago I was on my knees praying for one thing, when my prayers turned to my husband.  I asked the Lord, “What can I do for him?”  And I felt His answer so clear and precise in my heart…”Support him”.  Ok….like could you be any more vague??

Since those 4 years I’ve grown to understand why the vagueness.  Supporting my husband has meant encouraging him, loving him, gently guiding him in some areas, letting him lead his family (through wins and losses).  Man, it has been agonizing for me at times.  I’m one of those types of people that if I see something not being done efficiently enough, then I’m jumping at the chance to pull them aside and just do it myself!  I am an over-controlling Martha and a doubting Sarah all rolled into one.

All that to say, I’ve found it hard to support my husband in the way that he so desperately needs because I’m too busy being defeated.  I want this challenge to be a life style change.  An encouragement to us both.  I desperately need to win this battle.  And I’m only going to be able to do it on my knees, crying out to the Lord that sustains me.

I’m laying it all out and getting personal with it.

{….dang it!….}

(and for the lady from church that cared enough to tell me my last printed photo made me look like I was bloated from surgery?….just you wait!)

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2 comments

  1. I’m here for ya, girl! We can DO this…and thank GOODNESS for the horrid honesty of some church folks, huh?


  2. I’m with ya. There are lots of people supporting you in this challenge. Just take one step at a time..don’t try to be “super mom”. I’m cheerin for ya!

    Dana (Sunshine)



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