They’re everywhere, they’re everywhere!

November 18, 2007

I got up at the crack of dawn this morning because I realized I hadn’t cooked up the locusts’ for Sunday School.

hee, hee….you read that right. 

Can you guess who we’re talking about?

Our virtue this month is Uniqueness, so this Sunday it’s all about John the Baptist (aka Granola boy – you know he had dreads)

The storyteller is just suppose to ham it up and act like he’s eating some scruptious locusts.  The storyteller will be up on a stage so the kids won’t be too close, sooooooooo I melted some chocolate chips and stirred in pretzel rods.  Tasty, yet nasty.

Anyway…I finished up early so I got online and this story is the first thing I read.  This is the second time I’ve read about the monkey problems India is having.

Ok, Ya’ll!  It’s India.  COME ON!  Almost every animal known to man-kind is running free in that country.  Weird things are bound to happen.  In the last story I read, the government had “released” another kind of monkey to scare off the thieving monkeys.  What?!  Hello….two wrongs don’t make monkeys disappear, people.

The first time I went to India, we came out of the airport and culture shock immediately set in.  I had what felt like 50 million people pulling me one way or the other either asking for money, wanting to touch me, or wanting to take my bags.  Somehow I made it to the van and we pulled out onto the road.  The first thing that blew me away were the gigantic billboards everywhere.  Mostly advertising movies.  I’m telling you, if there were earthquakes in India, the thing that would kill the most people, would be all those billboards coming down. 

The other thing that was hard to process was the amount of animals running freely in the road.  Cows (holy or not), donkeys, monkeys, goats, dogs, birds…oh my Lord, the birds.  Alfred Hitchcock had to have been inspired for his Bird movie after visiting India!  The thieving monkeys, that the article is talking about, love to hang out around the temples.  They also live up in the mountains.  And they’re bigger there.

When it comes to these monkeys, most people just know that the ladies have to stay away from the males.  I’m talking human ladies and male monkeys.  The males can smell tell that you’re a female and they will attack.

For example…

While coming home from school one day, I passed the entryway of our compound and saw what looked like a feeding frenzy.  I believe there were 2 families of monkeys fighting over the garbage.  The sound of my mo-ped caused them to stop in their tracts and look at me.  Once again I found myself praying to God that my mo-ped didn’t stall out.  As it was I was going up a very steep hill and my mo-ped wasn’t the most powerful thing out there.

About 5 of the male leaders turned and started running towards me.  I still had about a city block to go before I got to the garage.  I was freaking out!  I started screaming at the top of my lungs for the dogs…”Quoinker! Snowy! Cooti!” – no, I didn’t name these dogs.

I made it to the garage, the same time that the monkey’s caught up to me.  It was more of an open front tin shed, but those stinkin’ monkeys lined up across the front of the shed blocking anyway out.  They were literally creeping towards me.  I had stopped calling for the dogs because I knew one more yell and they would pounce on me. 

The bigger male was the closest.  He was about 10 feet from me, when he stopped to take a sniff my direction.  I was completely paralyzed with fear and he could smell it.  My heart was racing….but then I heard them.  The monkeys heard them too.  Tearing around the corner came my four-legged heros!  Those monkey’s stumbled over each other trying to get up the Eucy trees.  Old Quoinker almost got the tail of one of them.  There were already 3 other monkeys that were short a tail due to Quoinker. He was one ugly, tough dog.

Needless to say, the dogs ate very well that night and I started parking my mo-ped behind the house.  I can’t imagine how India is going to solve the problem with those thieving monkeys.  More than likely just continue to be frustrated with them and the monkey’s will go on doing what they do best, because that is India.


  1. GiGi DANG that’s scary. I’m sitting here thinking OMG what happens to her, WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED TO GIGI???? MY GI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    It doesn’t occur to me you survived, I speak to you every day, so you’re fine.

    If you don’t write that book about your travels, girl, I’ll come down there and put a quill in your hand and force you to! You’re an amazing writer, I feel like I’m in the stories you tell. I can HEAR the hum of that mo-ped.

    Quoinker? Yeah huh, you named that dog! ~Gidget

  2. My heart was racing just reading about your story! I was waiting to read about how you survived the attack and then here comes Quoinker to the rescue! Whew.

    Now I’m going to follow your link to read more about your time overseas.

  3. Wow – scary! I think I won’t be going to India…. EVER. LOL

  4. This story is well worth the link! On my top five GiGi stories, I think.

  5. Oh wow. That’s scary! I’ve seen India on Amazing Race quite a bit. It’s never made my top places to travel. This monkey story sealed the deal. Glad your 4-legged friends were there to help you out!

  6. Oh MY gosh Gigi!!! Please do exactly as Stacey says and write a book!!! NOW! You HAVE to! I will ride with Stacey to come put the pen (she’s going to make you write with a quill???) in your hand! Just type it all up, Hon. Your stories are amazing and your way of telling them is indescribably awesome!

  7. very interesting, but I don’t agree with you

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