Archive for August, 2007

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Ode to the crazy Danish woman

August 28, 2007

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Gma Marie

Sunday morning, J got the call this his grandmother passed away.   We knew it was coming.  She had been diagnosed with Acute Leukemia a month earlier.  Pneumonia kept slipping into her lungs.  On August 26, 2007, while J was talking to the kids in Missouri about his sassy grandma, in Florida, she was raising her arms to heaven and saying, “I want to see my Jesus” and she was gone before her arms fell back to her side.

I could say that Marie was a spunky lady, but that seems to do her no justice.  This woman made me want to pull my hair out one minute then the next she’s making me pee my pants cause she’s cracking me up so hard!  She had some wacked out ideas and ways:

1. I remember talking with her about hair.  She went once a week to her “beautician” to get her hair done; either colored, cut or just plain “done up”.  She never did her own and wouldn’t wash it in between.  I told her I wished I could afford to get my hair done more often and she asked me what I paid.  Lordy!  I thought she was going to cast the hair demon out of me right then and there!  “WHY in the world would you give that kind of money to someone who just does hair?  You tip?!?!?  Oh, I NEVER.  It’s their job.  If they don’t like it enough to do it without a tip, then they should just get out!  Jesus help ’em.”

2. That woman loved Jesus, but I think the devil took over her soul when she played Euchre or Zonko.  She was conniving and greedy!  And she kicked our tail-ends every. single. game. 

3.  She was a mama to everyone.  Doesn’t matter how old or young.  She would drive me nuts when it came to feeding my babies.  She would ALWAYS over feed them and then tell me it’s healthy for them to puke half of it up!  On the other hand, nobody can jiggle gas out of a baby better than Marie!! 

I miss picking on you, Marie…I miss you picking on me…kind of.  Marie, I know that you are finally where you so dearly wanted to be.  I’m happy you no longer have to feel discomfort and anxiety.  You are loved by your family….Howard’s heart is breaking every minute without you.  Better get your mansion in order cause I’m sure he’ll join you soon.  Love, your awnry granddaughter-in-law….Jen

**J will be officiating the funeral so I’ll be out more than in this week.

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Ta-Daaaa!!! My friend!

August 25, 2007

I have a new blogging friend (besides my dear BFF Stacey).

Ya’ll meet Ms. Can’t Be Wrong.  She has just started blogging, and I think she’s a hoot.  She’s the hot new thing that took over for me as Director of UnGodly Children Elementary at church.  Something about that job just makes you need to blog!!

Anyway she’s horribly busy, but you guys should pop over there and play nice with my new friend.  Don’t tell her all the horrors of blogging either….she’s just a little new (she’s only got like 4 or 5 people on her blogroll!), so let her find it all out by herself.

Just to give you an idea of just how warped she is, I thought I’d share with you a little note she sent me.  Remember Gremlin’s puking issues earlier this week?  She got the same thing, from the same place…..

 I had the turkey.  Then I shot it out both ends.
Cool visual, huh.  Dehydration was my biggest
concern.  Plus, I HAD to come into work yesterday.  I
think I may have dislocated my left eyeball when I was
puking, because it just hasn’t been the same since.
Today, I’m just woozy.  Apple sauce and Sonic’s
grilled cheese seem to be my friend.  I’m a total wuss
at being sick.  I suppose it’s best if I’m the one in
the house puking.  I have a very weak stomach so if
T**** or A*** puke I’m following up with the encore!

I laughed so hard when I got that!!!  That was dang funny!  Sarcasm is a service she can dish up well.

 On a side note, I know I’ve been a bit scarce this past few days….Sunday is the grand opening to our new sactuary and NPC doesn’t do ANYTHING small so we’ve been pulling some long nights every day this week to be in tip-top shape.  Hopefully I’ll get some pictures to show ya’ll.  See ya on Monday!!

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TT – My baby boys

August 22, 2007

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I love this photo…taken through the car window when
Gremlin was around 5-6 months

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OldMan, 2yo showing off a carnival prize (had to distort
name on the balloon-that’s why it looks funny)

Wanted to give a shout out to my boys this Thursday.  I needed to be reminded what was so dang lovable about those two, cause cleaning up “wet poop” and vomit for 3 days (and nights!) from both (that’s right ladies and gents, BOTH) boys has me wondering why I quit my day job for this.

(I almost had my husband convinced that smoking weed…that, of course, Jesus I’m sure grew in the Garden of Eden…was ok for stressed out moms.  Ok, so he wasn’t all that convinced, but I tried real hard!)

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WW – Da-dunt, da-dunt….Da-dunt, da-dunt

August 21, 2007

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Wordless Wednesday

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Takin’ on the fat!

August 21, 2007

Tales from the Scales

 I did it! I did it! I did it! 

I’ve lost 10 lbs since we started this challenge!!!!

I couldn’t believe my eyes.  It was even confirmed by a doctor’s visit last week (I’m always heavier on their scales than my own!).  I’m so excited that I’ve lost that weight, but I guess I’m not completely done, because my favorite jeans still don’t fit me the way I’d prefer.

So I’m still at it, but I’m going to add some strength fitness to my routine now.  It’ll help with the toning and shaping.

Off to email Tales from the Scales, for my new star!!!

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No more drunk toddlers!

August 20, 2007

Awhile back I wrote a post about drunk toddlers.  Remember the whole deal about kids eating/licking the hand sanitizers and becoming drunk?

Apparently us mom’s weren’t the only one’s up in arms about it.  The makers of Germ-X decided they needed to do something about this.  (Yeah, local guys…they’re from St. Louis!!!)

 Not long ago I was emailed and asked to try a new product that Germ-x was coming out with that is alcohol free but still just as effective. Well, heck yeah!  I got it in the mail and immediately put it to work.  So here’s the dealio guys.  Not only does it still kill 99.99% of germs, but ya’ll it’s foaming hand sanitizer, it smells GREAT, and best of all it actually softened my hands.  No lie.

Also, there’s no other way of explaining this other than just tattling on myself, but I read that they put a bittering agent in this new “advanced protection”.  Sure ’nuff….it’s bitter!  Look….I really felt the need to know.  And aren’t you all better for it?!

They’re being sold at Wal-marts for just under $3.00 and should be coming out in the next week or so. 

For all you lush moms, you need to give up your alcohol based sanitizers.  Admitting your addiction is half the battle.

C’mon…do it for the kids.

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This bug bites!

August 20, 2007

Last night has got to be one of the worst nights I’ve had since having children.

Sounds a bit dramatic, but even when my kids were babies, they didn’t get up as often as Gremlin did last night. 

Gremlin started throwing up around 7pm and continued all night until 6am this morning.  If he wasn’t throwing up he was tossing and turning because he was hot or “just not tired”.  I think I got around 2 hours of sleep…total!

How the hey-hoo did I do that in college?!?!

I remember staying up all night helping a friend with puking problems.  It wasn’t exactly from the flu, but puke is puke, people!  It’s messy and it stinks!

This morning I feel like I’ve been up all night puking.  Coffee’s not helping one iota.  And it’s all dark due to the storm, so all I want to do is curl up and saw some logs.

On a side note (I hate complaining on my blog, but…), I’ve heard a lot of people talk about how cancer has become an epidemic.  Then why can’t we find more scarves at retail stores for cancer patients??  My mum and I went shopping on Saturday to look for some square scarves.  She’s found some hats, but nobody is selling good old fashioned square scarves.  All they have are the scarves to put around your neck to match your jackets.  Of course, there’s plenty online, but sometimes you just want to feel it and play around with it before buying it.

This cancer thing is so new to me, that I had no idea the pain of all you have to go through just to get ready for chemo.  Like today, my mum is going to get her drivers license renewed.  It’s not due until October, but she’ll have no hair then, and might not feel up to standing in a line all day at a government office just to have her picture taken.  So here she is the day before chemo, trying to wrap up a few loose ends.

Guess that saying is right….you don’t realize what people go through until you’ve walked in their shoes.

 I hear Gremlin in the bathroom, better go check on him….